Monday, August 21, 2017

IS THERE REALLY A PURPOSE FOR ME?

I have attempted over and over to make something of myself, and everything I try fails, or the credit I should have received was denied.

I am tired of being a failure, of being a burden on society; so what do I do? Do I do what I tell others is not the way to go: or do I just keep being a failure at one thing after another?

I sit by myself - sometimes with my pup K.C. - but even then how much conversation can you have with your dog? I wonder over and over what am I doing, what am I doing in Ferron, Utah?
I mean I came here thinking that my biological sister was on her deathbed, and she needed me to help straighten out her Medical bills and get them taken care of, get her everyday bills, utilities, phone, etc. straightened out and taken care of, and the most important to her when she convinced me she needed me, was to get her legal affairs in order, write her will, do her Health Care Directive written and filed with the hospitals, all of the things that we seem to put off until the end.

Well as usual I was made a fool, and believed each and every lie she told me. Her intentions were honorable I guess, because she did not want to see me continue living on the streets of Garden Grove, California. Myself I was fine there, to a point. I had found a way to get showers at least three times a week, and Five had I wanted. I was able to get as much as I wanted to eat, I just had to be willing to go to various locations around the city.

Basically I felt that I had been called by God to be out there, assisting those homeless that wanted to get off the streets. I enjoyed the work of helping others, and not let myself dwell on my numerous failures.

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